art of compromise

My father and his wife (step-mother) are sick. Each suffers their own grave medical condition; one has cancer, the other congestive heart failure. I live miles from them, as do the other children they have. I am the closest by mileage. The others live across a large portion of the country from where our parents reside. It is difficult to get together. The illnesses have brought several together for the first time recently. It is an awkward arrangement at moments. My father's wife has been moved to a hospital almost two hours away from where they live and he is limited by health on how often he can make the trip to see her. Today was a day that left him unable to make the drive. Her son took this opportunity to lash out at my father across the phone telling him that he, the son, would now be in control of all decisions for his mother and my father related to their health. He related that any health problems my father might have from now on would not be shared with his wife (the son's mother) but only with the son. I assume it was to protect his mother by removing any stress from her life; it hurt and angered my father tremendously. My father can be a temperamental person. This caused him to become frustrated to the point of near-rage. His heart is weak and this hurts him. Her son then rambled out a rather obtuse allegory. It was a vengeful action. My father, in his hurt and anger, wanted to drive the distance to the hospital to be physical with the son. You see the son also told him that he didn't think my father would live long if he wasn't careful. The son was provoking with full cognizance of the impact his prodding would have on my father. I asked my father to let it go. To be there for his wife and not participate in anything that could not help her deal with her illness. I suspect he will do so, as I am his son and he will listen to me at this point in his life. I suspect it will cost him his own sense of dignity to a certain degree as well. No one will be better for any of it.